Assertiveness

Although many people appear to be naturally more assertive than others, primarily as a result of their higher level of self-confidence, it is in fact possible to increase your own ability to assert yourself both on a personal and a professional level.

The definition of assertiveness

Someone who is assertive is generally capable of responding well to the most challenging situations and of remaining positive in the face of potentially aggressive behaviour from others.  They are less likely to undertake tasks simply to appease others and are also more resistant to criticism.  On the whole, an assertive person is someone who is better able to stand up for themselves.

Assertive or bullying?

There can be a fine line between someone who is confident and assertive and someone who is simply a bully.  However, the effects of their behaviour on their colleagues are markedly different.  A strong, assertive leader facilitates development amongst others, motivates them towards the achievement of objectives and encourages their participation in the decision-making process.  As a result, they are usually rewarded with good results and high levels of team morale.  On the other hand, a bully is someone who can still achieve good results but only because of the threatening way they manage their team and through the punishment or ridicule of poor performance.  A bully often relies on a group of followers who appear to comply with their every demand, but they may be seen in their true light should this network of support collapse.

Becoming more assertive

To enable you to handle dominant or bullying colleagues should a conflict situation arise, it is important to make sure that you are armed with all the facts and information required.  You will be able to answer questions and defend your position much better if you are fully prepared.  Bullies do not usually like having the tables turned on them so perhaps be ready to ask questions of them rather than allowing them to be in the position of inquisitor.  This could give you an enormous advantage as they are more likely to have relied solely on their aggressive behaviour and are therefore less prepared for this kind of scenario.

The importance of self-belief

The more you believe in yourself and your own capabilities, the more confident you will appear in the face of aggressive or bullying behaviour.  It is important to try to remain calm at all times and to ensure that you give yourself the time to provide the response that you intended rather than reacting to the way in which the questions are asked.

Bullies may deserve your sympathy!

This may seem like the last thing you want to be giving to your aggressors but it is important to understand that their behaviour is often the result of experiences in their past and is their way of coping with their insecurities.  Former victims of bullying can often become the bully in later life in order to help boost their self-confidence.  By understanding this in them, you will have put them at a distinct disadvantage by recognising their weakness.

Development of assertiveness

Many local education centres offer training courses to help in the development of assertiveness and self-confidence.  It is, however, important not to allow your new-found self-confidence to change you too much so that you then become the aggressor!  Your assertiveness should simply enable you to express yourself better and allow you to deal with challenging scenarios in a more positive manner.